How to Be Away- Part 2, Tempe's Birthday

Just a warning, in the event that you don't know how hard my little girl worked to stay alive, talking about it for me sucks. A lot.  It's amazing and phenomenal, but Sept 28, 2010 was the start of the scariest time I have ever had in my life.   Given Jaspers crazy history, that is really saying a lot.  So even seeing that the date is approaching brings back snapshots of that time.

For me her birthday is a celebration that she did not die.  Yes she had a stroke, and a lot of other scary stuff, but I celebrate that she can walk, talk, and all the other amazing things she does everyday.  Her birthday is a celebration that I never stopped knowing that she was going to be one of the greatest teachers that my life would hand me.  I knew that she was gong to be the cheerleader that she is for Jasper.  I knew that she would love with a heart that is unstoppable.  I knew that she would light up every time she sees my mom.  I knew that she would be musical and love to dance and shake her little blonde hair around.  I knew she would live.  I knew she would live.  I knew she would change my life.

Tempe is ECMO baby at Riley Childrens Hospital #693.  There are a few ECMO nurses and her flight nurse Sara that I thank everyday for getting me and her through that time.  I can only hope that know know how eternally thankful I am for them and what they do.  Especially Sara and Dr. Moore.  If you don't know what ECMO is, just know that it is scary.  Scary, and what they used to give her heart and lungs a break after her lung pooped out and heart was not very happy either.  It let her heart and lungs rest so that she could come back to me and change my life.

So its pretty sucky that I am out of town on her third birthday.  Ok, its really sucky.  I am sitting in a hotel room silently crying my eyes out.  I know I am here to better the lives of my entire family, but I am not quite at as good as traveling as Ryan is.  I know it is hard on him too, but it is what we do to give our kids the best life possible.  I trust that my mom is going to give her a fantastic day filled with candy and cake and presents and that she will be pumped to go next Sunday  to Jumping Joeys in Bloomington and have a little birthday party, but I just want to kiss her face today.   Right now.  About a million times.

My Future Dr. Thompson

(that really is what she wants you to call her when you play doctor, no joke)

So, it is possible that I am going to be a mess ALL DAY Saturday.  I just cant help it.  There is no reference  on line on how to be out of town on your kids birthday.  Or how to not weep like a giant hormonal mess at the sight of her picture all day long. 

I still hope to get through all the emails that my friends sent to us when she was at Riley.  I started one day to read her a few but couldnt do it.  I have them safely put up so that one day when she she is old enough to understand how many of my friends and a whole lot of strangers prayed that she would live, I can read them with her.  That may be one of the most precious gifts I have ever been blessed with and all because of a post on the blog I had for at the time and through Facebook.  

Ok, I have to sleep so I will not be a crying, sleep deprived B..... in the morning.  Well, I can try.  Oh, if this is more poorly written than normal, get over it,  I already told you I'm a weepy mess.